Prison Cigarette Roller

A friend of mine who spent some time in a state penitentiary offers this technique for rolling cigarettes:

  1. Get a pencil from the guard.
  2. Cut out a piece of thick tough paper, from the last bindery page of a old hardback book. Never use a Bible! Someone will cut ya!
  3. Cut out a 3" x 4" piece.
  4. Take a pack of non-dairy coffee creamer, empty it into a styrofoam cup.
  5. Add a couple of drops of water and stir it to make a paste. Nuke it for a couple of seconds to warm it up. Not too much or you'll cook it, as we're making Elmers style glue, prison style.
  6. Smear some glue on one side of the pencil and attach one edge of the paper square to the glued surface.
  7. Allow to dry.
  8. Place tobacco on the paper evenly in a line, aligned with the pencil.
  9. Cup the paper around the line of tobacco, then turn the pencil to roll the paper and when the paper rolls around the line of tobacco, put the cigarette paper into the slot just before the paper rolls shut. It will pull the paper in, just like a real Topps roller, and turn the pencil until the cigarette is finished.
  10. Just remember to turn the pencil with the glued edge of the paper instead of away from it, or it'll rip off after several uses. It takes practice to put the right amont of tobacco on the paper and yes, just before the paper disappears inside the roll, lick it. It helps if you put the unlicked side in first!

He adds:

If you roll the pencil too hard, the cigarette will be tight and not draw right. Nice and easy… you can make 25 cents a box, if you can roll about 40 easy drawing smokes from one box of Topps. It pays to grab and stash any paper suitable for this project that you can find. It's selfish, but you have the right paper to make your machine and not someone else, who's cutting in on your game. Just prison biz, folks, just biz.