It's all over but the paperwork.
Kelly's determined that we're to be divorced. She doesn't know when and it might be complicated because she's in Pennsylvania and I'm in California. Regardless, that is her intent.
I can't say I'm surprised. Disappointed, to be sure, but not surprised. I hoped and prayed for the best but prepared for the worst. I'm not whining, either. This is one more of the consequences of my actions. I certainly don't want this, but I'm not going to fight it, either. If someone doesn't want to be with me, well, I don't see anything to be gained in acting like a horse's ass and making a hurtful and difficult process more hurtful and difficult.
Posted by Kurt Wall at 05:17 2008-09-07 | Trackbacks (0) | Comments (0)
Back to Work (Domesticity)
I've had four days off. I didn't do a whole lot except go to my standard morning AA meeting and then putter around the house. It was needful, for the last almost four weeks have been stressful. I'm ready to go back to work, though. Just a bit too much time on my hands. I didn't get into any trouble (meaning, I didn't drink), but by the end of each day I was a little restless and antsy. Fortunately, because I got up at 5:00 a.m. each day, by the end of the day I was also tired enough that I could go to bed at 9:30 or 10:00 o'clock and sleep.
I did more than just putter around the house. Friday, I drove up to Redwood City and had an MRI of my toe. Saturday, I went to see a movie and then shopped a little bit at The Great Mall of the Bay Area in Milpitas. I guess it's an okay mall, but it seemed more like an outlet mall than a "standard" shopping mall and I had a hard time finding something in my size that didn't look like dreck. In the future, I think I'll stick to the Westfield malls in the area.
Sunday, I went to church and ate breakfast out. It's hard to sit in the
pew knowing I can't commune; I could use the tangible means of grace and
the signs of forgiveness just now… Today, I had a short chat with
my sponsor about how to get started on Step 4, then came home, cleaned
bathrooms, showered, and went shopping. I didn't buy anything, but I
did get a manicure and a pedicure. It was my first pedicure —
I could get used to those if my feet weren't so darn
sensitive ticklish.
Yes, netllama, I'm a girly-man. I think the politically correct (and utterly vacuous) term is metrosexual. Pardon me while I hurl. Please, may I just be a guy who cares about his appearance and wants to be well-groomed without having a label slapped on me?
Posted by Kurt Wall at 21:15 2008-09-01 | Trackbacks (0) | Comments (0)
Priceless (Domesticity)
Here's why I love my wife. She writes:
How's this for a commercial:
- Special food for a sick cat: $44
- Dry cleaning forgotten since October: $16
- Picking up my husband from the airport on Saturday: Priceless
Have I mentioned how much I miss my wife?
Last night I stumbled across this delightful quip from G.K. Chesterton: Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline. I couldn't agree more.
Posted by Kurt Wall at 20:02 2008-03-17 | Trackbacks (0) | Comments (0)
Dinner (Domesticity)
Tonight's supper: a couple of baked pork chops, red beans and rice, and asparagus. Note to self: Use more red pepper in the red beans and rice.
Okay, so maybe you're not terribly interested in what I ate for supper tonight, but I was just sitting here digesting my dinner and enjoying my post-prandial coffee and cigarette when it occurred to me that it isn't horribly difficult to cook for oneself—nothing on tonight's menu required more than 15 minutes prep—but an awful lot of people don't seem to cook at home anymore. It honestly baffles me. Granted, my mother (of blessed memory) taught both my brother and me how to cook, and I quote, "So you won't get married just to have someone do it for you like your father did." So, I'm comfortable in a kitchen and, with 300 cookbooks, I have plenty of fodder for culinary experimentation.
Nonetheless, I guess a lot of two-income families are just too busy to cook. Or too tired after a day at work. Perhaps it is just easier to pick up something on the way home than contend with grocery shopping and little bit of menu-planning. To be sure, I eat out and order delivery from time to time. I can't be bothered to make a pizza and I'm not interested spending an hour chopping vegetable to make stir-fry. And, at work, lunch is heavily subsidized (the first $5.00 worth of food is free) so paying 50¢ to $1.00 for a meal is strong motivation to eat in the cafeteria.
At the end of the day, however, I want a home-cooked meal. I don't know why, but it does seem to bring a sense of closure to the day.
Posted by Kurt Wall at 19:17 2008-01-27 | Trackbacks (0) | Comments (0)
Home Work (Domesticity)
Home ownership has proven to be a pleasure…
…and an expense and a lot of work. Kelly and I are about two years into owning our own home (well, borrowing it from the bank). I've been surprised to discover how much I enjoy working around the house. As my photos in GardenWerks show, I've had a great time creating and maintaining the gardens around the house. Fixing the odd broken widget gives me a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment—I've never considered myself especially handy or talented with power tools, but I've learned that with some instructions and patience, I can do pretty much anything in the home improvement area that doesn't involve lethal elements, such as electricity, natural gas, or heights. This has really been a surprise. I am not proposing that I'm highly skilled, but I'm at least capable.
It's expensive, or at least it can be. I appreciate now why people become do-it-yourselfers. Replacing the counter tops and sink in the kitchen would have run north of $2000 had we had someone do it. The cost to us for doing it ourselves was less than $800 for the materials, not counting the time we spent actually doing the work. Some tasks I'm not going to undertake, such as playing with natural gas or adding electrical circuits—the former is potentially explosive and the latter potentially shocking, so I'm more than willing to let an expert come in and do the work.
In any event, the meaning of “homework” has definitely changed since I became a homeowner.
Posted by Kurt Wall at 10:36 2007-11-09 | Trackbacks (0) | Comments (0)